GGJ04-69

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Main Page The great Gospel of John Volume 4 GGJ04-69 Chapter


Chapter 69 - Zorel as murderer of his mother.

69,1. John says: “Yes, yes, you did that later but in the beginning you were only inclined to behave as I have said! The suggestion that you only helped yourself to the girls in a gentle manner is now a vulgar lie as well! There was only one you handled a little more gently and that was the last one, but only because your desire failed as you performed the contemptible act; the first four you did not spare in the slightest, but have served them most horribly! Can you deny this? – Look how you remain silent and how your body trembles! Afterwards the girls contracted a dangerous form of leprosy, which did of course accelerate death, but the ultimate blame can only be placed on your lechery! But this chapter is closed and we will now move on to something else!

69,2. You are aware that there is still something heavy on your conscience for which your will once again refuses to accept responsibility. However both the deed and its consequence are realities! Man should therefore never take action when in a rage since unpleasant consequences always follow after deeds performed in anger as a shadow follows your heels. Can you still remember the occasion when your mother Agla, who was a very sensible person, expressly cautioned you in a serious way to stop your dissolute behaviour and give up your contemptible friendships. Do you recall what you did to her?”

69,3. Zorel says: “O gods! I can vaguely remember something as if in a dream; but I can not remember the details! Please therefore continue to speak as you have already begun! I know that I never did anything wrong with any premeditated evil intent in my mind. However, when I am in the throes of a violent rage, I can no more control myself than a tiger can curb his instincts as a blood-thirsty, voracious beast! – Please continue now to speak!”

69,4. John says: “We will address this point later. However, on that occasion you seized a pot which was standing on a bench and flung it with all your strength at your mother’s head causing her to sink to the ground completely senseless. But you, instead of helping her, took the gold coins which you knew were there and escaped here on a pirate ship. You joined them for a few years and followed the fine profession of pirate. This also afforded you the opportunity to become a slave trader as well. Shortly afterwards your mother died, partly as a result of the severe injury to her skull and partly of grief over your incorrigible character. The consequence is that you also have, along with the catalogue of your other sins, the murder of your mother on your conscience. To crown your many evil deeds, your father and all your siblings have heaped the most bitter curses on your head! - Now that you have been completely unmasked what do you say to all this as a man with your sound common sense?”

69,5. Zorel says: “What should I say to all this? What is done is done and can no longer be undone! I now see that some of the elements of my earlier actions were extremely suspect but of what value is all this insight to me? It is the same as if you could transform a tiger into a man gifted with insight, who could then look back and contemplate the blood- soaked horrors he had committed; but what use is all this to him?! Could he undo what has been done, he would surely have to take every conceivable kind of trouble to do so? In his existence as a tiger, however, what could he have done to alter the fact that he was a tiger and not a lamb?! There is also the feeling of remorse for a despicable deed and the good will to completely rectify any wrongdoing, but these are as empty as to take the idiotic trouble to try to recreate yesterday as today. From now on I can become an entirely different and better person; but during the time when I was evil it is impossible to make me a better person than I was. Should I shed bitter tears of pain for the many evil deeds I have committed? That would as ridiculous as if a tiger who became a man were to shed bitter tears of remorse for having previously been a tiger!”

Main Page The great Gospel of John Volume 4 GGJ04-69 Chapter