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Chapter 105 - The unfathomable ways of destiny. Stahar's reasons for the doubts he expressed to the Lord.
105,1. (Stahar) “Like a young man is looking for a bride. He knocks here and there, and finds nothing but rejections upon rejections. He therefore becomes very angry and says: No, now I’ve had enough! I will remain single and will run my household myself, as well as it might go! But as he now abstains with a very serious will from all courting of any bride, suddenly things take on quite a different face! Now brides arrive in their dozens, ten for each finger, if only he could take care of them all! Yes, why then now, and why not before, when he was looking for a bride?
105,2. A third man goes fishing, just in a time of affliction, because he needs some fish for the market. He tries everything for a whole night, best equipped with every trick and other skilful tactics for fishing, and his net remains empty. In the morning he very sheepishly gives up all fishing most cheerfully, but nonetheless casts his nets one more time for the sake of a joke, and indeed with the fullest conviction that he will not catch even one fish. And behold, the nets cast begin to tear from the sheer amount of fish of the most beautiful sort and noblest species that have been caught! Yes, why then now so many all of a sudden – and before, nothing the whole night through?
105,3. In the same way for several centuries the people languished under the yoke of the deepest darkness of the most varied superstitions. Millions sought the truest light of life. But what did they find? Just what we have found until now, namely - nothing! What was left in the end for you and me and for many thousand others? Nothing but to remain dutifully with what we had in a political sense, and with what we had made our own through all sorts of experiences! Now however, at the wane of our earthly life, we have sought nothing more, and behold, as if by a stroke of magic the gates of the old divine light have opened, and we now breathe in the streams of light! Why now then, and why not earlier? You see, that is how things are in the world, and how the Lord obviously wants it! But why it must be exactly so and cannot be otherwise, only the Lord alone knows!
105,4. There below at the table of the Lord are His main disciples. Who are they then? I know them all! They are fishermen, among them hardly any are capable of reading and writing – otherwise honest and hard-working people! Certainly none of them, just like us, had ever sought a higher and deeper truth in life – and behold, they have received a light before us all who have sought all our life long! Believe me, our names will disappear like the light of a falling star and like that of lightning; but their light and their names will shine until the end of all time and throughout all eternity! – Who is now in a better position, one who otherwise lived and acted as a very honest man on the Earth, or one who devoted his whole life to the investigation of inner, deeper truths of life?
105,5. The rules of the house of the Lord are and remain an unsolvable puzzle to mortal man. But what else can the powerless man do than to take things as they come with all patience; for nothing can be decided or changed by us! Or can we now or ever previously do anything about the fact that we have now as casually as ever possible reached the very most colossal, most intensive light of life? We sought long enough with every lantern to find at least a concept of a true God, so that we could have accepted with full and convincing insight that there must be a God who controls and rules over everything. But in vain!
105,6. What we sought slid ever more deeply into vain nothingness, and soon we stood without a god on the whole Earth according to the full truth. You became an Essene and as such a magician in OPTIMA FORMA. I on the other hand remained on the outside a staunch Pharisee and as such performed positive miracles of seeming piety before the blind nation. And so we both lived for a considerable time quite artless.
105,7. We have often made the trip here to the old fisherman Mark with pleasure. But did we ever perceive even the very slightest warning of the fact that the greatest light of life would one day rise over us both here, that we would get to know exactly here the only true God, of whom we could not even get even the very slightest understanding despite all our searching, not only with our understanding, but instead - INCREDIBILE DICTU – even completely personally, and in such a way that leaves no doubt at all behind itself? You see, that is how all things come from God! Whenever one actually is no longer searching for anything, then often one finds a thousand times more than one had sought!
105,8. You were previously upset, when I let out certain statements which drew the most doubtless divinity of the Lord into question. Secretly I liked your seriousness, and if my faked doubt had been serious, believe me, I would even have countered you with something! But I secretly had a great joy in you; for I thought to myself: If you knew why I actually raised such a doubt, you would have had to rejoice in your heart! I only wondered that you have overlooked the cheerful indifference of the Lord, and that you understood much too little of the words that Raphael directed to you in their true depth. Therefore I say to you now once again that the many experiences I have made have a great value! Friend, whoever has seen Albion’s (England’s) coast has certainly experienced quite a bit!
105,9. Just choose twenty reliable and most decent friends, and you may count upon it that among them is a lurking a traitor who can become a rogue at the nearest opportunity! I stand here at the head of forty nine, can you accept with certainty that there is not one among them who has two faces?! But SAPIENTI PAUCA! (the wise man needs little), - I hope you understand; for one does not need to speak too loudly about this! I therefore rose from the table in order to be able to exchange a few words more freely with you at some distance from my table. My Floran, yes, you can build houses on him; but there are then another forty eight, for whom it is very necessary to assure oneself fully of their inner opinion before one begins to form a new field with them!
105,10. You were a perfect atheist and I no less! But several among the forty nine were always too foolish for that; they believed in the temple’s tangible deceptions. They can therefore only be superstitious, blind and foolish fanatics! And believe me that such people are always more dangerous to us true people than a whole pride of lions! Therefore a fine cunning is certainly needed here. But look, my seeming revolt towards the Lord was of good effect! Most of them disagreed with me and agree with wise Floran; only a few may now be among them who would agree more with me than with Floran. But even they think that I possibly went a little too far! And now, dear friend Roklus, judge according to rights and dues, firstly whether I have acted correctly and secondly whether I am worthy of your friendship, just like Floran!”
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