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Chapter 185 - THE NATURE OF LIFE. THE LORD'S PROMISES TO GHEMELA
185,1. Ghemela was quite satisfied with Abedam's explanation concerning her last question and soon took heart to ask again:
185,2. "O You sweetest Jehovah, so full of the greatest mercy, love and grace, as You have already been so gracious to us I dare from the innermost love of my heart for You to bother You with another question. I am quite aware that You, Most Holy One, are desecrated by each of my impure words, and that is why I always hesitate to open my most impure mouth before You, and the fullest recognition of my total unworthiness and depravity before You paralyses my lungs and for a while constricts my throat so that I can hardly utter a single word. But when I think how boundlessly and unspeakably good, most loving and merciful You are I once more take heart to make use of Your so exceedingly kind permission.
185,3. "And so I am again so bold as to beg You to enlighten our great foolishness and tell me and all the others, in case they also do not know it yet, what life actually is and how we become so fully aware of it that we know and feel it so very dearly that we exist and are able to do freely whatever we want.
185,4. "But I am so full of all kinds of folly and most likely I have now through this question increased the great sum of my follies even more before Your most holy eyes.
185,5. "Yes, yes, I can already see it in Your face that I have now asked an extremely foolish question. -- If I could only quickly ask about something else.
185,6. "O Jehovah, does my foolishness maybe displease You? Then I would like in my shame to hide in the deepest abyss of the earth there to weep about my foolishness all my life in the densest darkness.
185,7. "But, my most beloved Jehovah, I do not demand of You the light, just accept my question as a most humble request and Your most holy will be done and I will receive Your great mercy and inexpressible, supreme fatherly love in the depth of my heart with gratitude.
185,8. "O You Whose name my heart, aglow with love for You, no longer dares utter, forgive me!"
185,9. And Abedam was deeply stirred and said to her and to all:
185,10. "Truly, I tell you and all present: This much humility I have not yet found in any of you.
185,11. "Ghemela, do you really and truly love Me above all, and only Me?"
185,12. And Ghemela began to weep and, sobbing, replied: "O You ardently Beloved, You Who are eternal Love Itself! How can You ask me when You created me and gave me a heart that can do nothing but love You!
185,13. "If it were possible I would be willing to suffer a thousand deaths for love of You if this were the only way to show You how I love You alone above all! - But why do I say this, for You see my heart!"
185,14. And Abedam bent down to Ghemela who was lying at His feet, lifted her onto his right arm, pressed her fervently to His holy bosom and said to her:
185,15. "O you sweetest, most beloved and glorious pearl of My love and mercy, truly, your young heart holds more love and life than all the earth. What you have now experienced not even the purest and wisest of angels has as yet experienced.
185,16. "I will bless you for all time. Behold, glorious Ghemela, just as I, your Creator, your eternal, holy Father, am now carrying you against My heart which is the everlasting foundation of all infinity's life and being, one day a daughter exactly like you and of your blood - listen! - will carry Me, the eternal, infinite God, everlasting Life, the almighty Creator of all things, from the atom to the very highest angelic spirit, Me, the sole Lord of all might and power, under her heart, that is, in her womb.
185,17. 'To you I will soon give a son through My Lamech. You will call him 'Noah' and he will become a savior of your people.
185,18. How and when this will happen your future son will be told by Me directly at the right time, as you are now receiving this promise of My mercy. Take note of this and you will soon grasp and understand clearly enough what life actually is and how every human becomes aware of it and can in his life freely do whatever he wants to do.
185,19. "But for the present, so that you do not have to step once more on the ground of the earth without an answer to your question, take note of this: What life as such and within Me is, you could not possibly comprehend; for how I Myself am the actual Life forever and in all infinity not even the highest and most enlightened cherub will ever be able to comprehend and behold. But the life in you is actl1ally nothing but My breath in you or My perfect image in every human being. And as I am forever and perpetually in a state of the clearest awareness of My very own most perfect life, thus every created being has a for you incomprehensibly tiny part of this life of Mine which keeps it fully alive for its particular needs.
185,20. "However, all life is of such a nature that it can constantly increase and grow thanks to My incessant flowing in; and the more life has grown the more perfectly it manifests.
185,21. "But life becomes aware of itself only when it receives with the little spark of love also a little spark of the light of grace out of God. With this light the existent life recognizes it’s being and becomes freely aware of itself.
185,22. "When this life is not only aware of itself, but becomes also aware of its eternal, holy origin, offers Him thanks, praise, love and adoration and recognizes the will of the One Who created it, only then does it become completely free and with this knowledge through love a child of eternal Love and eternal Life; and only through this life will it arrive at the clearest awareness of itself and a living awareness of the One Who is now carrying you on His arm.
185,23. "Did you understand all this, My Ghemela?"
185,24. And Ghemela, overwhelmed with supreme heavenly delight, replied:
185,25. “ O my holy Father, You supreme Love, who would not understand and comprehend Your Word, especially so when one enjoys the inexpressible grace You have shown me to be carried upon Your arm.
185,26. "And so Your Ghemela must surely understand that on which Your endless fatherly love has thrown so much light. I cannot thank You for it with my mouth, but my heart keeps all the more burning for You!
185,27. "But listen, my alone most beloved Jehovah, now a terribly sad question has arisen in my mind."
185,28. And Abedam asked her quickly and as if surprised: "What is it, what is it? What sad thing could you, My beloved, glorious Ghemela, have possibly remembered while still on My arm?
185,29. "Tell Me about it quickly; maybe I will find something to comfort your spiritually tender little heart?"
185,30. And Ghemela smiled somewhat embarrassed, played with Abedam's rich curls and did not dare come out with her question.
185,31. After a while, when Abedam had once more encouraged her, she finally brought out her sad question with a trembling voice:
185,32. "O Jehovah, look, I have gathered from some of Your most holy words that You will soon be leaving us again, and since my heart loves You already so infinitely how will I poor thing fare when I will no longer see You and have You, my eternal Love, around as at present?"
185,33. And Abedam answered: "Listen My glorious, most beloved Ghemela, on the one hand your apprehension is not unfounded, for as now I cannot always remain with you, and this would not be good for anyone. For if I always remained with you in this way no one could attain to an independent, freest life since sin has reduced the world to hard servitude and as a result there is already a great deal of compulsion and coercion on earth. If I, as the primordial power and might, remained always thus visibly among you, you would have a second coercion on earth and no one would be able to move freely in any direction.
185,34. "If I remain a stranger to your eyes, but - if someone earnestly wishes it, as you do now and have always done -- all the better known and more familiar to the heart, then everyone, notwithstanding the hard servitude of sin, is absolutely free. He can spurn this servitude with contempt and turn to Me, seeing and seizing Me with the love of his heart. Then I will according to the measure of his love, receive him and if his love wills it, kept and supported; and all of this means that he has won life ever-lasting.
185,35. "Just think, who would have the courage to do anything if he saw Me and knew for certain that I was always by his side throughout his life?
185,36. "Look at the people who know that I am visibly among them. What are they now doing?
185,37. "None of them dares breathe freely, let alone do something else, be it right or wrong. And then look at the great crowds around us who have no inkling of My visible presence here; see how they move about freely and briskly.
185,38. "Many among them imagine Me beyond all the stars, others again present in a little breeze and still others have a thousand different opinions keeping Me away.
185,39. "Behold, all these people are in no way coerced by Me and are completely free. But this is now not the case with all of you. Although here beside Me you are far from the servitude of sin, but all the more drawn by My love and cannot help loving Me above all, notwithstanding the holy right of such a love, there is still compulsion, for in My presence you cannot help loving Me thus.
185,40. "While I am visibly among you, no one's present love can be credited him towards life, but only when I shall no longer walk visibly among you and besides how one has loved Me prior to My being visible.
185,41. "Behold, my glorious and most beloved Ghemela, your present love would also not be worth anything if you had not formerly loved Me thus, sometimes even more deeply than you do at present when you actually do not love, but are only satiated by Me with My love for life eternal.
185,42. "But notwithstanding all this, or in view of it, you can disregard your sad question, for your love has always freely done what it had to do as you had many struggles with the world because of Me. Therefore you are so exceedingly beautiful, more than any of your sex before you.
185,43. "Because of your persistent struggles you can now see Me and be touched by Me without detriment and that to the extent that I could show only to you things which to behold would have killed many who have not like you won love's victory.
185,44. "And also My frequent visible appearance will not harm you ever, for you are already bound to Me. And as I am now carrying you visibly on My arms, I will invisibly carry you in the arms of My love; and whenever I shall show Myself to you, you will always see Me carrying you thus. Therefore be happy and glad in your heart, for from now on you will never have to be without Me in all eternity.
185,45. "Behold, My most glorious, tender and beloved Ghemela, do you think I could be without you?
185,46. "Oh look, you have now become quite as indispensable to My heart as I have to yours; and so you may console yourself that I shall not leave you as it appears to you.
185,47. "'Therefore, My glorious, most beloved Ghemela" forget about your sad question and do not worry. Amen."
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