HHG3-59

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Main Page The Household of God Volume 3 HHG3-59 Chapter


Chapter 59

59,1. In the seventh hour Lamech got up again and said to himself quite discouraged:

59,2. "Thus the Lord spoke to me: 'And if the work is done it will be easy to rest!'

59,3. I have acted according to His words and have done what He had advised me to do, although unfortunately without success, which of course is not my fault; but how have I enjoyed the long seven hour rest which I measured accurately by the path of the stars above my hand from the rise to the nearing subsidence?!

59,4. Indeed, it already started to dawn but no one stirs in the camp around the temple! No breeze is drifting, not even the softest noise can be heard from anywhere! Oh, it is horrible to live among the living dead!

59,5. But what am I going to do in this my sad situation? - To wait here until the full rising of the sun or go down to the city alone and announce to the bereaved servants, what has happened here?

59,6. Should I get a herbalist so that he might tell me from his wisdom whether these people are sleeping or whether they are in all seriousness already dead? Or should I rather make myself another revival attempt?

59,7. But if this attempt fails and no one is going to move upon my forceful calling, will I not become even more afraid, so that I perhaps will no longer be strong enough to go into town to make arrangements that these sleeping or dead are properly buried?!

59,8. But I know now what I will do: I’m going to quite fervently and confidently ask the Lord God Zebaoth that He should help me; and I want to pray and plead for half a day and will not eat or drink until the Lord will either hear and comfort me or even going to kill me like these my brothers and sisters!

59,9. It is already getting brighter and brighter in the east so that I already can discern the city with little trouble from house to house!

59,10. How glorious would this awakening of a new day be if I had not have to look at it alone, when these people would be awake like me and would bring the Lord a joyful, cheerful, refreshing morning praise!

59,11. But I must look alone among my unawakable brothers at the new awakening of nature with the awakening of the day!

59,12. Oh, how doubly sad are you now, glorious morning, that I have to look at you alone alive and awake and must enjoy your great glory! I would rather not live at all than feel so painfully that I here, among the thousands, still have to live and feel alone!

59,13. But what have I done that Enoch and the Lord have so completely abandoned me? After all I only fulfilled the Lord's outspoken will!

59,14. And He, the Holy, the most Loving, the most Merciful so suddenly abandons me unprepared!

59,15. It was Him and it was Enoch too; my family which he brought from the heights are still there and are also sleeping a deadly sleep!

59,16. Or are they not there anymore? - I want to go and see for myself! Because for a dream this whole event since yesterday morning would be a bit too much!"

59,17. Here Lamech went to the spot where he left his family and to his biggest amazement found no one.

59,18. He then clapped his hands together above his head and shouted, "By the Lord's will, what is this?! Thus I’m seriously just a duped fool of my dream?! Am I still dreaming or I’m awake? What kind of a miserable state of my life is this?

59,19. I want to, I wanted to pray, but now it is impossible for me! I am now without God, without friends, without brothers, without wife and children and have nothing but this wretched life to feel this horrific punishment of God or to even feel the more terrible vengeance of the snake!

59,20. What am I going to do now? - Pray? To whom? - To Him who left me or who doesn’t exist? - No, that I won’t do!

59,21. I'm still Lamech! The big city still belongs to me and this country and all the people!

59,22. I wanted to be a true servant of the Lord with all my heart and therefore sacrificed everything to Him; but He now played this hard prank on me and has led me astray!

59,23. And therefore I do not want to live any longer; here in this temple I want to starve and that will be my last sacrifice which I will offer to this enigmatic God!

59,24. Amen out of me - and no wisdom shall ever change my mind! Even if the Lord Himself came to me now, He will no longer be able to accomplish anything with me!

59,25. But you dead people just keep on sleeping in death and become the food of ants and worms; within a short time I'll be there as well! It is endlessly better not to be than wandering around led by the nose by God!

59,26. Thanks to you, my heart, for this purpose; because now I breathe more freely again! Yes, better and sweeter is the feeling of revenge than a dumb devotion to a God, for whom it is so easy to deceive me without reason!

59,27. And so be it! I want to die and no longer be in this Your world, You unfaithful God! Amen out of me; irrevocably. Amen!"

Main Page The Household of God Volume 3 HHG3-59 Chapter