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Main Page The Childhood of Jesus CYOU-205 Chapter

Chapter 205. – Tullia's complaint. Mary's consoling words. Tullia's introspection, repentance and atonement. Jesus' favourite food. The old and the new Tullia.

205,1. Only after a while, Tullia recovered from the shock, whereupon she began to weep bitterly and said:

205,2. "O Lord, why was I once able to see in this house; why am I the wife of Cyrenius, that I now have to suffer so greatly in my supposed happiness?!

205,3. Why did you wake up the dead, why did life return to my bosom?!

205,4. Have I been born only to suffer anguish? – Why me, while thousands and thousands live in peace and happiness and have almost no knowledge of the tears that are squeezed from the eyes in anguish! – ?"

205,5. Moved by compassion, Mary consoled Tullia with the following words:

205,6. "Tullia, you must not quarrel with the Lord, your and my God!

205,7. For look, it is just His way that He severely tests those He particularly loves!

205,8. Recognize this in your heart, and reawaken your love for Him anew, and He will immediately forget His threat and will receive you anew into His grace!

205,9. For He has quite often threatened malefactors and, through the prophets, has announced their destruction on the following day and indicated the place at which the dogs should lick up their blood.

205,10. But when the malefactors repented, He immediately spoke to the prophets: 'Do you not see, that he is doing penance? Therefore I will also not punish him!'

205,11. When Jonah was called by God to announce the destruction of the Ninevites who were lost in all kinds of sins,

205,12. he did not want to go there, for he spoke: 'Lord! I know, that You only seldom follow up on the threats that the prophet must make;

205,13. that is why I do not want to go there, so that I do not disgrace myself as a prophet, when You will surely show them mercy once again!'

205,14. See, even this prophet had well-founded doubts about God's anger!

205,15. I advise you: Do what the Ninevites did, and you will again be received into grace!"

205,16. These words instilled new courage in Tullia, and she began to reflect upon herself, and soon discovered several faults within herself and spoke:

205,17. "O Mary! Only now do I clearly see why the Lord is thus punishing me!

205,18. See, my heart is full of sins and full of impurity! – Oh – how shall I ever be able to purify it?!

205,19. How can I dare to love the Holy of all Holiness with such a highly impure heart?!"

205,20. And Mary spoke: "It is precisely because of this that you must love Him in your repentant acknowledgment of guilt; for such love alone will purify your heart before Him – the Holy of all Holiness!"

205,21. And as the Infant returned home late in the evening, He promptly went to Mary and asked for some food. And Mary at once gave Him some butter, bread and honey.

205,22. Hereupon He said: "I see another food, give Me some of this to eat also! – See, it is Tullia's heart; give it to Me, because you have already prepared it for Me!" – Here Tullia fell down before the Lord and wept.

205,23. Mary said: "O Lord! Have mercy upon the poor soul, who is suffering so greatly!"

205,24. And the Infant spoke: "I have already had mercy with her, otherwise I would never have awoken her!

205,25. It was she herself who took no notice of My mercy and preferred to quarrel with Me in her heart rather than receive Me into it.

205,26. However, as she has now turned her heart towards Me, I have done the same to her as I did to the Ninevites."

205,27. After these words the Infant went to Tullia and spoke to her:

205,28. "Tullia, see, I have now become quite tired. You have once carried Me in your arms, and it did Me good; for you had really soft arms!

205,29. So get up now also, and take Me in your arms, and feel how sweet it is to have the Lord of life in your arms!"

205,30. This demand of the Infant fully broke Tullia's heart.

205,31. With the greatest possible love in her heart she took the Infant in her soft arms and wept and spoke:

205,32. "O Lord! – How is it possible, that, after Your terrible threat, your are now so merciful towards me?!"

205,33. And the Infant said: "Because the earlier Tullia, who was repugnant to Me, has moved out and a newer Tullia, esteemed by me, has moved in! – But now be quiet; for now I indeed love you again!" – This scene moved everyone to tears.

Main Page The Childhood of Jesus CYOU-205 Chapter