RBLUM-135

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Main Page From Hell to Heaven RBLUM-135 Chapter

From Hell to Heaven


Chapter 135 - Hints about the unfortunate ones. The unscrupulous one flogs the Count’s madness. Hungarian politics of that period.


1. Subsequent to these words, all hear the clear words: “This hail is for yourselves – unbelievers from birth!”

2. The count takes fright, and the Franciscan says: “Well, that leaves us in no doubt about the target being us! Will your lord Count still hesitate turning to Jesus, the Crucified?”

3. Says the count: “I shall in God’s name do whatever the others do. But ask them too! I would only add that we should not at once trade in our commonsense for the so-called Christian meekness. If there are in Christ’s regime earls and princes, then praise Christ! If not, then goodbye Christ! For that would be something, if we had to in this world pay honour to some heavenly clod or even polish his boots!”

4. To these Count’s words, words are heard resounding again: “Here there are neither counts nor princes! Only one is Lord, all others being brothers and sisters!”

5. Says the Franciscan to the Count: “Now, milord Count, this will have been clear enough! It seems to me that this splendid answer was meant exclusively for you, who would still be a count or prince in the world of spirits! But how can one as a spirit still have a preference for a cloak in which one was ignominiously executed? No, I truly have no regard for rationality! Of what good is it to you now, when upon earth you were one of the most esteemed magnates of Hungary? Had you been a common swineherd, you might still be sitting down with a good wine and a decent bowl of goulash! As things are over here, you are cutting the same long face as us, and are unable to bit a louse off your Count’s title. Did you never hear of the lightning’s impertinence of first striking the high objects, not hitting the lower ones unless these hang around the lofty objects like oxen under a tree?”

6. Says the Count: “It appears you are making innuendoes at me! Be advised that I shall know how to forbid such even over here! – A Bathianyi remains a Bathianyi, even in the world of spirits!”

7. Says the Franciscan: “Most likely, on purely rational grounds! Wish you good luck and the weather to go with it, Mr. Count! Just stay with your purely Magyar Count reasoning, which upon Earth got you unto the gallows! Who knows what lovely, horned destinations you shall attain to therewith.”

8. Says the enraged Count: “Let him shut his trap before I lay hands on him! If he has anything to say to me then let him speak to me properly! But let him cease fooling, or he shall find out that Count Bathyianyi has not ceased being a count! Does he the stupid boaster understand this?”

9. Says the Franciscan: “Then lay your hands on me now, and you shall see how little a Count Bathianyi can do here! What power may such spirit possess? When was stupidity ever strong and mighty? I say unto you, not since the world’s beginning! But you are very stupid and hence weak in every aspect, because you were offended by what I said – for your greater benefit. On Earth too you showed that you were extremely stupid! For had you been more clever you would have done as did a Kossut and his partners, who found a hole out of the temple at the right time. You however let yourself be caught like a bullfinch, and then have yourself valiantly shot to death! Tell me whether this can be called smart?”

10. Says the Count: “Whoever sustains the harm, then also suffers the shame! If however you are so intrinsically clever, why did you also have yourself hanged? I opine that if according to your definition, power and wisdom keep pace, then you might not be one of the most powerful!”

11. Says the Franciscan: “I’m not at all concerned by such gracious remarks! Because I myself – as a kind of little noble fellow, was never short of true vintage Magyar stupidity. The difference being that I began to wake up to where the actual dog lay buried – of course a few weeks too late. Gallows there were all over the place, and canons and spears without number! Friend, my newly-awakened commonsense came too late to show me an escape route. But it was very different with yourself. You could count on your fingers what those things would shortly turn into. But your Magyar aristocratic wisdom whispered to you: victory or death! What do you now get out of our hero’s death on the gallows? Perhaps your friends in North America will build you a statue of honour, but your place in world history for 1848 shall be a tiny one. That will be all you can expect for your hero’s death upon Earth.”

12. Says the Count: “I shall be mourned by millions! Millions see the crying injustice done to me, cursing Austria to the devils. Is that nothing?” – Says the Franciscan: “Sure, sure, it sounds beautiful and romantic! Perhaps some Frenchman shall write a tragedy about it. But we, the actual heroes, continue to live our lives miserably, and it is asked what is now the good of it for eternity?

13. “Hence it means not to cling to the old stupidity, but to accept with grateful heart whatever is proffered us. In that way we shall easily forget what we got for our trouble in the world!”

14. Says the Count: “Yes, ‘lead us not into temptation’ it says somewhere in a certain … yes, hm … hm…! – How does that prayer go? – Hm, unable to recall! Let it go as it will – yet it is written somewhere; hence I also say: don’t lead us into temptation!”

15. Says the Franciscan: “What are you driveling about – ‘lead us not into temptation? – I am not with you – for this fits my words less than the fist upon the eye! I beg the Count to make himself clear, should you be capable to do so.!”

16. Says the Count: “Silly windbag – had you only let me finish. Did I interrupt you when filling my ears with your drivel?” – Says the Franciscan: “Don’t be shy – carry on in your way, or we will not see an end of it.”

17. Says the Count: “The metaphor suggests: you want to deftly rob me of my Count’s title. It is hence a temptation to sell me down the river! But nothing doing! A Count Bathianyi stands his ground!” – (thinks the Franciscan to himself, ‘like an ox’) – The Count: “Do you understand me?”

18. Says the Franciscan: “Oh, very well and clearly! To be honest, milord Count, your outsized aristocratic stupidity brought you the gallows. Had you been a shade wiser, no such shame would have come over your earthly house. But you surely have to realise that for yourself and all of us, the world with its fabricated rights is now over for good. What therefore do you still want from it, refusing, to the annoyance of the entire unit, to accept Jesus Christ’s proffered help unless He would confirm you as Count Bathianyi over here in the world of spirits? Give this some thought at last and then speak cohesively – but not as a Hungarian magnate, but a needy human, the way we all are!”


Main Page From Hell to Heaven RBLUM-135 Chapter