RBLUM-163

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From Hell to Heaven


Chapter 163 - Errands for Peter and Paul to present the erstwhile Bedouin chief Cado. Peter’s amiable but vain attempt to win this brazen spirit


1. Whereupon I summon Peter and Paul, saying: “Go and fetch Me Cado, who came to this world fourteen Earth days ago. It firstly is his own desire, and to secondly take away even the feeblest notion from these here new brethren that there is something despotically tyrannical about Me, notwithstanding all My love. Hence go and bring him over!”

2. The two suddenly disappear and are with Cado instantly. On coming up to him so suddenly he rears back, yelling: “By all the devils, what kind of beasts in human form are these? Oh you accursed rabble, these shall reduce me to beggary!”

3. Says Paul: “We do not come to beg alms off you, having no need of such, particularly since all the Earth’s treasures and those of Heaven are at our disposal. But we have different business with you, which would be much more beneficial to you than all the Earth’s treasures. This errand consists in trying to save you from eternal death and hell, if possible. Upon Earth you were a perfect devil in human form, and hence already a completely infernal being. Now, in the world of spirits, you stand poised for a leap to the lowermost hell, and are indeed already in it, in line with your inward parts. But if you still desire it, then we have the power to save you from it. You must however follow us and willingly do whatever we shall counsel you”.

4. Says Cado: “What!? What are you two drivelling on! Did I ever die? Am I perhaps no longer upon Earth, in possession of all my goods, gold and silver? Oh you ratbags, how artfully you would entice a few gold pieces out of me for a heaven that exists nowhere, and to save me from a hell that is but an invention of work-shy parsons! Get yourselves going, or I summon all my house-devils and have you chased out by dogs! Just look at these rogues! These can for money save you from hell, or obtain heaven for you! See that you get going before I drive heaven and hell out of you!”

5. Says Paul: “Friend, such talk won’t trouble us, and you don’t scare us, but let yourself be told: if you don’t voluntarily follow us, then you shall get to taste our power! For you can rest assured that you shall call upon your devils in vain. We are by the way well aware of how you came by your riches upon Earth; hordes of hungry devils indeed stood at your behest, and your castle was ringed by vicious dogs, attacking and detaining travellers until your domestic devils appeared and released them from the beasts for handsome ransom. You were frequently sued indeed, but the complainants got nowhere, because the judges were in your pay. We could tell you plenty about your robberies, but you shall have your inhuman abominations paraded in front of you in the right place, and it shall transpire whether they shall revolt you and evoke your true repentance. If they do, then you can still be saved: but if not, then lowest hell shall be your lot. And now come along freely, or we shall use force!”

6. Yells Cado: “You dogs want to use force on me? All you devils, get over here! We shall see how far you get with your force!”With dreadful gnashing of teeth, he waits for his domestic devils, but no one turns up, and no barking of dogs can be heard. His castle also, which he still has been seeing before him as his imagined property upon Earth, beings to dissolve mistily, like some frost pattern upon a window pane when touched by warm air.

7. Becoming aware of it, Cado exclaims: “Betrayed! Miserable dogs, You fouled me up! Depart from me, you dogs! By all the devils, I am not following you! You are a couple of magicians that have cast a spell over! Away with you infernal dogs!”

8. But with the latter exclamation, Cado already finds himself before me and Helena and all the other guests, but without seeing anyone, other than Peter and Paul. Helena takes fright, for he properly glows and steams with rage; but I strengthen her, so she can observe him calmly. I now indicate to Peter to start a conversion process and to let him behold paradisiacal regions for a few moments.

9. Peter directs immensely wise and gentle words at him, saying: “Friend Cado, be reasonable! Behold, experience must have taught you that all property upon Earth is vain and transitory, and that in the end the richest as well as the poorest share the same fate of dying. All flesh must die, and only the inward spirit remains indestructible! Behold, you have physically died, and are now continuing to live indestructibly with your spirit filled soul. Hence stop clinging to what has passed away eternally, rather confessing your great worldly guilt’s, and we will be your payers for you and receive you into our true and everlasting world, in which you shall be lacking nothing. Look there towards morning! Yonder marvellous lands and palaces are ours, and you shall have them! But you must confess your debts to us, so that we can take them upon ourselves!”

10. Cado gives them a fleeting glance, looking at the marvellous lands, after a while saying scornfully: “You should know that mice and rats are caught with traps and lures; fools pay double entrance fees to a theatre if a magician shows them foggy landscapes. But I am not some silly fellow who immediately swallows the hook! Do you silly thief think that I will applaud your deception? I know what and who you are, and know myself very well too. I am outside the body that much freer and can please myself. But no stupid Jew shall ever be my signpost! Do you silliest donkey understand that? Why ask about my earthly debts? If you are so mighty and all wise, then you should have known what these were long since! Hence square them off for me if you are indeed to be a discharger of others’ debts! What in any case have my crimes to do with you; did I ask about yours? Get going or you shall find the right devil in me! Did I perhaps call upon you like some old prayer leading hag? No, Cado, the terror of Armenia’s steppes would not! Cado is a lord, and the Earth shakes before his name! But Your Jehovah is a beggar and bungler in all things! Do you think that a Cado does not know Jehovah together with his crucified Jesus muck-up? Oh, a Cado knows all, even his entire doctrine, and that better than yourself, who were to become his rock for all time. But the rock was instead made from sheep’s butter and melted, with nothing left other than its empty name and many wooden statues, pictures and false relics! You are Peter and your companion the maybe cleverer Paul or Saul (the latter name could be the right one). Tell me rather what there actually is to your master, in this world of spirits! Is he still busily judging the living and the dead? Is he perhaps as stupid as you two?”

11. Says Peter: “He is the very one who sent us to you, that we would save you from everlasting doom!” Says Cado: “Why did he not come himself? Perhaps he got cold when judging, and caught the flu, preventing him from going out, probably despatching you for my warming myself at your powerful breath! But Cado is no lamb like your Bethlehemite Messiah of the Jews, wherefore his compatriots did him the honour upon the cross. Oh you silly rams! Do you think a Cado has himself pulled by the nose like some hungry Jew? Much mistaken my dear lambs of God! Cado is a lion and no lamb of God; do you two understand this! Send your master my regards when you get back to him, and tell him I feel sorry that he was no Cado upon Earth, but just an ordinary sheep!”

12. Says Peter: “Friend, that path will get you nowhere; your road leads to hell and everlasting torment out of yourself, for you are spoilt to the innermost atom of your being! But that you may know who Jesus the Crucified is I, as one of his most faithful witnesses say unto you: He is God, the sole One and Only; the Eternal, a Lord and Master, holy within eternal infinity! He alone can preserve you, but also let you fall everlastingly. Look once more towards morning and the open heaven, but look also towards midnight and hell’s wide-open jaws; which way will you choose? No God shall judge you, nor any angel, nor us two. But let your will be your judge!”

13. Says Cado: “So heaven is that way, and romantic hell towards midnight! Well, well, that’s nice. How much for this conjured up spectacle?? You sure are a couple of real magicians! Tell me, is it an ancient Jewish, Roman Catholic, Greek, Turkish or Indian hell? Maybe Persian??”

14. Says Peter: “Cado, Cado! You are a cheeky spirit and are fooling around with God’s unending goodness and mercy! As you see, we are friendly, ready to render you every beneficial service within God’s order. We have not offended you with one harsh word and only showed you where you stand with God’s primordial righteousness, yet you turned on us with tigerlike fury! Why so, friend? Why not treat us with your impotence the way we treat you with all power out of God? Then we shall relate better to one another. Believe that I know you through and through and that you are in desperate straits out of the most evil love in your heart! You shall not be able to help yourself eternally. But confessing your misdeeds before us, opening your heart before us, you enable us to sweep your heart. If however you shut yourself off perpetually before us, the evil excrement in your heart shall solidify, and it will not be possible to save you from eternal death! Cado, think about these most salutary and friendly words!”

15. Says Cado: “I beg you to save yourselves the trouble and stop annoying me in vain! Have you never heard that those born to rule from childhood are accustomed to ruling, and never can or intend obeying? You can achieve something with me only along the road of my grace and magnanimity, but never through counselling! A real king never lets himself be counselled, if he is to assert himself imperiously. He must perpetually rule!”


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