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From Hell to Heaven
Chapter 100 - Dismas confesses his guilt before the Lord, not begging for grace but for a just punishment. Consequences of such an erroneous request.
1. Dismas gets going, coming over with him to Myself, the Lord of life. There at the table he falls on his face before Me, calling out: “Oh Lord, eternally unworthy to look in Your holy visage, I lie down in the dust of my shameful nothingness as a miserable worm, full of the pus of fornication and most despicable adultery. I beg for Your full righteous punishment for all my earthly misdeeds. Your will be done!”
2. Say I: “Dismas, who are you and what do you ask? Would it be right of Me to give you in accordance with your words? Beware, if I were to do so! If you want to become even more imperfect than you already are then go to the devil’s chief – he judges with fire punishment. I nevertheless judge and punish no one, and not you either. If you would live, then ask for life and not death! Do you think I take pleasure in the death of My children? Oh fool! Am I a God of dearth or of life? Behold, all eternities and the infinity of My heavens testify everlastingly that I am a God of life and not death. Would you make Me into a God of death?
3. “Hence, say who you are, so I will see what perversion dwells in you. Were not your deeds upon Earth sufficiently evil and contemptible for your wanting to sin even here before My face! But I see only too well who you are and what you want. Be spared a difficult response! Arise now and change your attitude, for you shall eternally get nowhere with such a plea. Behold, you asked Me for a proper punishment, like a slave, yet your heart desires full grace! Say unto Me whether I am to respond to your verbal request or the desire of Your heart?”
4. Says Dismas: “Oh Lord Jesus, the only God! Have patience with me poor flesh-devil spirit! – I know that I am the crudest of sinners and not capable of stammering even one wise word before You. Judge me not in accordance with my words but my sick heart, and heal it in accordance with your most liberal grace, and then my tongue shall never tire of praising You! Lord, if You now disown me, who shall accept and uplift me?”
5. Say I: “Do you not have numerous friends? Should not these be capable of helping you? Consider how you lived sixty years upon Earth without My help – just with your friends who provided you with every kind of advice. And you were not unhappy, except at the sight of your wife – when she sometimes accidentally surprised you during some sweet hour. If someone told you anything about Me, and how your life must displease Me, you just laughed them off. Now you lie before Me, wanting death and life out of Me! What should I give you? Death I cannot give you and life you don’t want fully, in that your word does not agree with your heart, all your earthly deeds not carrying within them what would resemble a seed of life! Now examine yourself and tell Me what you want!”
6. Says Dismas: “Lord, where is there one righteous who could argue with You? That much less can it be me, who am full of sins before Thee and before men! In truth I know that You can be merciful to a repentant sinner, if You want to! But it also seems true that You, before Whom not even the angels are spotless, can even from the most well-meaning words addressed to You by a sinner, signify as to whether You can remit him the sin for everlasting life, or not do so for everlasting death – and all this in strictest accordance with righteousness!
7. “For justice falls within the order of power! Whoever is in its possession also has the fullest right, which no on can dispute with him. If however power and justic are equally valid, how should an impotent sinner ever dream of some potential entitlement to rights? Whatever power does, is just, but whatever impotence does against power is unjust.
8. “And in these very circumstances I now find myself before You, oh Lord – with Yourself as omnipotence and I as the feeblest impotence! I could now say whatever I liked, and it would nevertheless be up to You to do whatever you will, in that You alone are the mighty One. Hence I could not, for the wisest and most logical reasons say anything other than: ‘Lord, thy will b done.’ I could wish for a thousand things, but desire to wish for nothing, subordinating myself fully to Your almighty will, whether for good or bitter consequences. If it will make m considerably happier it shall be good; if it wants to condemn m to hell, I shall have to go there! For the most decisive evident impotence cannot everlastingly pit itself against omnipotence! Hence do with me, oh Lord, as You will, and it shall all have to b right with me! In this way I believe to have fully admitted my impotence compared to Your omnipotence, and to ha adequately attended to Your request, and You oh Lord shall do with me according to Your desire!”
9. Say I: “Very well, since you place all justice in My power, it is My will that you betake yourself into the corner of this hall forever. There you shall be tormented by a small stinging fly forever! My omnipotence wants it, and so move yourself off to there!”
10. Says Dismas, profoundly frightened and embarrassed: “Oh Lord, although I must submit to Your might, I nevertheless implore You that You remit me that most despairingly stinging fly! For it would be terrible to be tormented by such an insect on one spot forever!”
11. Say I: “That I know! But my omnipotence justifies Me! Why do you now not want to submit yourself to My almighty will?”
12. Says Dismas: “Oh Lord, You are omnipotent, but You are also endlessly good! And so I turn to Your goodness and implore You for grace! Spare me the stinging fly!”
13. Say I: “You now appeal to My goodness and grace, because the waters of death are beginning to swirl around your mouth. But I ask how you can do so now, since you previously laid everything at the feet of My omnipotence, your own mouth saying: ‘Lord, Your will be done!’ But now My will doesn’t seem too pleasant to you, and so in your heart you now wish that My will not be done! How am I to take this? Your mouth constantly speaks something different to what your heart desires! Do you take Me for a comedian? Oh, there you are greatly mistaken!
14. “Behold, I proceed with My children unlike stupid parents. These often want to scare their children with make-believe earnestness; but these soon notice it, laughing to themselves when their parents send a fake thunderstorm over them, stopping short and taking little notice of their parents’ words. But with Me things are not like that in the least! There is with Me everywhere the most solid unbending earnestness, and the life of a mite has to be as seriously maintained and guided as that of an angel. I am like the stone, of exceeding hardness and weight. Whoever is offended by same shall bruise himself upon it, and on whomsoever this stone falls shall be ground to powder.
15. “I say unto you that so long as your word does not come from your heart you shall have a hard time with Me! For I will not have two voices in one and the same man. But when your heart is at one with your mouth, then I want to hear the words and give due consideration. Whatever appears to you as holy within Me, that you must obey! If it is the power of My godly will that is to you the holiest, the way you put it, thence you also have to yield to it, if you do not want to become a rebel against My almighty justice.
16. “But this too you may know, that not only I as God have a free will, but also every spirit created by Me has the same free will, being able to do as he will. Hence I shall not force you to do with My almight, what as a severe judge, I have commanded you to do. You can also resist it and do as you will, but what fruit this shall yield, the future will tell. Hence do now as you wish!”
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